Summary
Recently, I was in my office, with a lot to do, including write a column, when I got a phone call informing me that the electric company had cut off my power. Years ago, I would have responded to this petty annoyance with a pointless, immature outburst of anger. But since then I have learned that stress management is vital to health. So I hung up the phone, took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, then punched my desk so hard that I could not make a fist for three days.
Then, using my other hand, I called the electric company, which has one of those automatic call-routing systems, designed by escaped Nazis with the aid of the Educational Testing Service, wherein you must use your touch-tone phone to pass a lengthy multiple-choice test (". . . If you know your first name but NOT your last name, press. . . ."). This is the electric company's way of testing your worthiness as a customer; it's similar to the way knights of old had to prove themselves by slaying dragons, except that instead of winning the hand of a fair maiden, you get put in line to speak with an actual Customer Service Representative.See the full content of this document
Extract
When They're Out to Get You, Keep Cool
While waiting, I kept my stress level down by calmly going over the points I planned to make, as follows:
1. You stupid idiots.2. Give me back my electricity THIS INSTANT.3. What are you ...See the full content of this document
Sponsored links
